9 Reasons Why Building Muscle is Probably Not For You

Lets face it. In today's day and age being lean, fit, and muscular is hard work. You've tried the Ab Lounge, the Butt Blaster 6,000, the Shoulder Shredder, the Home Exerworld, and STILL nothing.. What gives? 

I know what you are thinking at this point. Is all of the hearsay true? Do you have to do those squat thingies? What about those deadlift thing-o-mabobs. Seems dangerous.... You are not sure you want to do that weightlifting stuff. Won't everyone think you're on steroids?

Well hey... maybe living the life of someone who works hard in the gym, eats right, and remains disciplined is not really for you after all. In fact here are 9 very good reasons to ditch the idea altogether!

1. You Have to Deal With Your Friends Always Complimenting You in Public

I mean this is such a burden. Am I right? It's like you go out to parties, dinners, and other various social gatherings and all you here is how amazing you look and NOW.... wouldn't you know it everyone wants to know your secret. Geez! There you are minding your own business trying to be all under the radar and whatnot and people just seem to be wanting to engage you in conversation and are showering you with compliments. Who has time for that? 

2. It Will Involve Lifting Things and Sweating

Oh man this is the worst. You have this goal, and it's a good goal. But you have to actually work hard for it!?!? What a scam! Isn't exercise supposed to be about walking on that soft belt while enjoying your favorite sitcom.

Now I'm telling you that you have to go over to those dirty weights where no one else is and lift them up and down a bunch of times and get all sweaty. You should definitely take a rain check on that.

3. You Might Find Yourself Conquering Other Goals You Might Have Previously Thought Too Challenging

Here is the worst part. Once you start committing yourself to getting strong and fit your mind will start being all like HEY! I wonder what other goals I could set and achieve. Then you become all action oriented and start accomplishing all of this cool stuff. Which would be cool and all but you're like 3 weeks behind on Grey's Anatomy so I'm thinking maybe you should just pick this whole fitness thing up next year.

4. You Will Have to Buy New Clothes

If there is one thing that should make you cringe it's the thought of having to go shopping and buy a bunch of clothes in smaller sizes. I mean your waist gets all small, your legs get all toned, and your arms have all of this definition. How are you supposed to accommodate all of that from a fashion standpoint.

It would be much easier to just buy a bunch of baggy sweats and long sleeve shirts and take all of the guesswork out of it. 

5. It Involves Pushing Yourself to be Better 

If there is anything that is worse than pushing yourself out of your comfort zone I haven't found it. At one time there was speculation that maybe going to the dentist was worse but I'm pretty sure that was a fluke. The fact is unless the fitness program is something that requires no more than 10min per day and can be done in the comfort of your living room then well it may just be a little too aggressive. 

6. It Involves Accountability

This is where you should draw the line. So imagine this scenario if you will. You join a gym or fitness studio and you start working with a trainer and you are getting results. Then, next thing you know they expect you to show up multiple times a week so you can follow a specific plan to reach your goals.

If that isn't bad enough you start to make some friends at the gym you go to (really who has time for more friends) and they are all like expecting to see you there too. Too overwhelming if you ask me. Might as well just scrap the whole idea.

7. It May Make You Want to Clean up Your Diet

Before this whole exercise thing you got to enjoy chips, soda, garlic bread, and cheesecake on the reg! Now, since you started exercising you are noticing that those foods don't make you feel very energized. So you started eating protein and like.... vegetables and worst of all, when you go out to eat you are looking at the healthy options on the menu! That is just unacceptable and probably going to make you miserable in the long run. 

8. It May Make You a Role Model

Don't you hate it when your kids, friends, and people you work with start looking up to you. That is a lot of extra pressure that you don't need. That whole making a positive impact on others thing is for the birds trust me. I mean we are trying to stay under the radar here. Remember? 

9. It Might Become Addictive

This whole getting muscular and fit thing has the tendency to become habit forming. I mean there is the feeling of self confidence, the endorphins, the better quality of life. All that stuff can become addictive and addictions are bad. The last thing you want is some kind of crazy intervention from your friends to try to get you back into being sedentary and average so might as well just find another hobby.

For those of you who take things far too seriously I hope you can appreciate the satirical nature of this post. In all reality these are 9 reasons to get fit and start exercising today. The fact is exercise and a healthy diet is hands down one of the best things you can do to enrich your life. William Osler (known as the father of modern medicine - thanks Scott Sonnon for this quote) said "One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine". A healthy diet and daily exercise should be at the forefront in the pursuit of preventive measures against disease. Stay healthy, stay fit, and get out there and move!