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Health & Fitness

Caregivers of the Elderly - Let Old Hurts Go


For Caregivers of the Elderly - Let Old Hurts Go

Being a caregiver is a tough job in the best of circumstances. We have to make sacrifices and give, sometimes until it hurts. But when we carry around old hurts – old baggage from the past, the job of care giving can become excruciating.
 
 “Attitude is everything.”

When it comes to care giving, especially for family members, this saying is vitally important to remember. If we are always remembering our parents’ shortcomings, the mistakes we believe they made with us, our attitude will hit the bottom of the ditch.

Every parent makes mistakes. I’m sure you have valid reasons for resentment, but does it help anyone? 

Bitterness, resentment, and a bad attitude all hurt everyone, but no one worse than the person who is feeling it. You have a huge job to do. Give yourself a break by letting go of those old hurts. When you carry hurts around, they just keep on hurting. 

If you’re a parent yourself, you also will feel the effects of old hurts in your children.

My friend, Karen, says, “Children remember things that I just don’t. They feel that I wasn't always fair, favored one over the other, was too strict . . . the list goes on and on. I apologize. It’s really not a hard thing to do. But the truth is, I just can’t go back and change a thing. I hope by asking for forgiveness that my children can also let go, and just know that I did the best that I could. By the way, since I became a parent, I see my own parents in a whole new light!”

Forgiveness – if we want it, we have to give it. Sometimes letting go can change your whole life and affect the lives of everyone we are around. What we cannot change, we need to let go of.

Sometimes it takes a lot of prayer. Sometimes we just have to remember all the good things about our loved ones. When those old bad thoughts start popping into our heads, we need to think of three good things about that person and remember who they are – they are our parents – who we came from. 

I encourage you to do your best to let go of past hurts. Try to give everyone in your life the freedom to become who they need and want to be – including yourself. Yes, sometimes the person we need to forgive is looking at us in the mirror. 

For me, I try to remember that yesterday, and all its mistakes are behind me. Now, I should move on to better things – a better life, a better attitude – and even new mistakes. After all, isn't that how we learn?

I think you might be surprised how forgiveness changes your whole relationship and lightens that burden of care giving. 
Our time on this earth is limited – much too short to carry around old hurts. Love lavishly and sprinkle in a lot of forgiveness! It will come back to you. 

San Clemente Villas provides full-service, luxury assisted living to those over the age of 65. San Clemente Villas by the Sea is at 660 Camino De Los Mares, San Clemente, CA 92673. Phone: (949) 289-1534 | Fax: (949) 234-0081. Contact:  Aileen Brazeau, Co-Owner of San Clemente Villas by the Sea. | abrazeau@cox.net


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