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Health & Fitness

Help Your Parents Know When it's Time to Sell Their Home


My Gerontologist friend, Karen, just sent me this note and okayed me blogging it since many of you may be in a similar position right now regarding your parents’ selling their home or not.

Karen says……

My parents have lived in their country home for nearly 30 years. It was their dream home with the plans taken straight out of a magazine.
 
A lot of their sweat, money and even some tears at times were invested into their two-acre place. A walk through their yards is like being in a plush park. Momma has planted and planted, and planted.
 
They started building when they were in their 50's, but now both are nearing 80 and the work of keeping up their place is starting to take a toll.
 
During a recent visit, we sat down to chat in daddy's TV room. Concerned looks came across both of their faces when they told me they thought they should sell the place within a year's time. It seemed like they were afraid that I would be hurt by their decision.
 
We have so enjoyed the years they've spent there. Birthdays, holidays, and just plain old family gatherings hold such dear memories to us all. All the grand kids have loved going to Great Granny's and PaPa's house. There's their tree house, the creek and every riding toy known to man there for them to play on.

I do admit, I hate to see them sell it. I also admit they're being very wise in planning this move.  My own children have loved their place since they were little.

My daughter Tara would walk home from school and stop by to visit granny every afternoon. The boys were also there many afternoons to see what Gramps was doing. Then my kids grew up and the grand kids started coming. I have nine of them and they all have special memories of the home place. I'm reminded that there's a season for everything. Some seasons are better than others. 

Momma said, "If we wait until one of us is sick, or has passed, it would be so hard. It's going to take a lot of work before we're ready. Don't you think we're doing the right thing?"
 
I told her, "Of course you are. It's just going to take some time for me to get used to it." Then momma asked me to let my kids know. She didn't have the heart for it. It occurred to me that they had probably put off selling for years, because they knew how much the place meant to the whole family. 
As I got into my truck to leave, I told momma, "I just want you both to be happy."
 
"We're going to be fine, Karen," she said. "Don't worry."
Hating to see her so serious, I laughed and said, "I'll think about this tomorrow."

"Okay, dear," Momma said. "After all, tomorrow is another day."

They've already began fixing little things around the place. Daddy has replaced spindles on the porch, and they're getting someone to paint the two story chimney. Momma is weeding out extra items in the house and in the garage.

Some things will go to me and the grandkids. Other things she's just throwing away, and there's also a pile for daddy to take to Good Will.
 
No wonder we all want to "age in place." There are so many emotions involved with so many people. It's a lot of work and stress dealing with de-cluttering and eliminating items we've held onto for so many years.
 
I know I'm very blessed with wise parents. Moving them now can't be nearly as hard as if the move came after one of them was gone. For that, and them, I am truly grateful.

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What do WE learn from Karen’s letter?  We learn to stay very much in touch with our beloved elders to perhaps coach them if it appears that they might better be considering the sale of their home.

Naturally, this involves a lot of calculator work and a clear understanding of WHERE they will move, after the home is sold.  It’s not easy, but our arm around their shoulders can make it so much easier for them.

San Clemente Villas provides full-service, luxury assisted living to those over the age of 65. San Clemente Villas by the Sea is at 660 Camino De Los Mares, San Clemente, CA 92673. Phone:  (949) 289-1534 (949) 289-1534 FREE | Fax: (949) 234-0081. Contact:  Aileen Brazeau, Co-Owner of San Clemente Villas by the Sea. | abrazeau@cox.net

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